Mwahaha! Persistence paid off. Picky eater mom wins.

I didn't think this day would come, and yet here we are. Ten days have past. I remember ten days ago, cooking only the foods the picky eater crew would eat. I remember what it was like to have Ezra scream at food he didn't want, throw it across the table, throw himself on the floor and have a temper tantrum for 50 minutes. I remember him hitting and pinching me for 20 minutes, screaming at me to get what he wanted. I remember both of them refusing all food. I remember exchanging TV time and honey for bites. I remember four years passing with Micah refusing every single fruit and vegetable except for grapes, and raisins. It seems impossible that these same two children issued following statements today:

Micah: My tummy hurts a bit. I think I need some more broth. Can I have some more please?

*

Micah: Mom, can I have some spinach juice please? Just make me some spinach juice now (at bedtime).

*

Micah: I had my broth for lunch at school. It was so good.

*

Ezra: Ooh, can I have a carrot, celery juice please? Please, mom?

And what did they have four lunch? I made them both "Pizza" again. It's basically ground up chicken, cauliflower, and onion spread thin like a pizza crust on a baking sheet. I heated it up and covered it with tomato sauce. They snacked it up. And for dinner I mixed 1 kg (2 lbs) of broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, and onions with about 1.5 lbs of ground pork, added some spices, and baked it in the oven in a casserole dish (for us adults, I stuffed peppers with the filling). I presented the sausage casserole and peppers and allowed them choose. They both had several helpings of the casserole including their delicious carrot and zucchini chips.

Bottom line: it can be done. Detox is crazy difficult, but 10 days of struggles is all it took, versus a life time of carb addiction and unhealthy gut. Do they eat plain veggies...well, yes but not readily. But hey, they're eating veggies, demanding healthy juice and broth, and eventually I think they will be able to and want to try all sorts of new foods, as long as it looks good and contains a major motivating delicious word like 'sausage', 'pizza', or 'chips.

Lottery diet!

Lottery diet is what I'm now calling the GAPS diet, because if we won the lottery, we might be able to continue it.
Things have been going pretty well. It's hard to imagine that 10 days ago I had to bribe my kids with toys and TV time to get them to drink their broth. I would sit in front of the TV and let them watch one minute of their show for every sip they drank. Now they actually request the broth.
Two days ago I made a recipe from the Introdiet cookbook I downloaded from online. It was total rubbish. I mean, it tasted ok, but food has to look good, not just taste good. I really don't blame my kids for balking at the site of the zucchini chicken casserole. So yesterday I ground up cauliflower, onions, and chicken breasts, added some salt, spread the whole thing onto a baking tray and baked it. I even sliced some tomatoes onto it and declared it was pizza. In addition to that, I peeled carrots, and kept peeling them to thin strips and then fried them in coconut oil, and added my new favorite salt ever, Hymalian salt. The combination of coconut, sweet, crisp, and salty is utterly divine. Not only did my kids snack up the pizza and carrots, they demanded seconds, thirds, and wanted some for lunch again today. HA! And Ezra doesn't like chicken. Well, he actually likes chicken, he just thinks he doesn't.

So if all that is going so well, what's the problem? I seem to go to the store 3 times a day now, to keep our veggies stocked. I make juice for the kids. If they don't want to eat their veggies, I give them the option of a green juice, but that requires carrots, and apples. I've added up all the receipts from since we started the GAPS, so 10 days and it added up to 540 euros. So, you can imagine why I feel like maybe we won't be able to continue eating this way. Who has 1500 Euros for food a month? We don't have enough time to start our own vegetable garden, and it would have to be a pretty massive one to supply all the food necessary. I would just buy food in bulk, but that is not something that is done here. I tried to work out some deals with the suppliers, and they just figure 'hey, this lady wants to buy my food, why should I discount it?'. So we are trying to figure out the financial aspect.

The other thing is, I really am in the kitchen a lot. I was so happy that I would now have some time to myself now that the kids are in school, and I have been busier than ever, making them breakfasts, packing special lunches, working, shopping, planning. I don't know how I did all that when they were home. So we will have to see. Perhaps we have to aim lower and just do the best we can.

Mother's nerves fried to a crisp with picky eaters

Everything is fried in our house these days. My nerves, our food, and our electricity. So I was planning on keeping you all updated on how my picky eater battle is going (or should I call it turning picky eaters into veggie fanatics?), and then our DSL got fried because of some electrical problem, as did our nightstand lamps, alarmclocks, curling iron, and power cord. It's very annoying. So now, I have no internet access and am afraid to use the computer at home, because I don't want it to fry. Here I am at my work desk then writing this brief update.

It is getting harder on me. I'm anxious for them to eat the good nutrition so we can just move on and I can introduce dairy and nuts again. Imagine that. 9 days into the diet and I'm thinking about introducing the foods they had to avoid: eggs, nuts, and dairy. They are already getting some scrambled eggyolks for breakfast, and seem to do fine with them. That's the thought that keeps me going. They will be able to eat more food. Not less. Although in the meanwhile I still feel like I'm starving them, because Ezra refuses to eat some things. Here's a funny little conversation from yesterday after dinner.

Me: Mom, I feel like I'm starving my kids.
Granny: Well you are.
Me: Ugh, I'm no better than a Nazi.
Granny: No, no. You're doing it for a good reason.

I can't tell you how helpful it is to have Aaron's cooperation. The dinner tantrums continue. They are loud, desperate struggles to control what they eat. With Aaron and I both not backing down, they eventually do actually eat what we give them, even if it isn't as much as we would like. I was so worried that they aren't getting enough food, until I realized that Micah has gained 3 lbs since being on this diet, and his previous digestion which ranged between severely constipated and diahrrea has now become normal. It's working!!! I on the other hand have lost 9 lbs in the last 8 days. So it's working for everyone. Even with the little bit that the kids are eating, they are getting more nutrient and calorie dense food than ever before. I try to remember that when Ezra is screaming and pinching. And I put carrots, sausage patties, sauerkraut, applesauce and a thermos with beef broth in his lunchbag yesterday, and he ate it all up.

OK, I would make this longer, but I have to actually work now.

Picky eaters almost won

This morning I was ready to call it quits with the diet. It's just so hard. It's not the food. In fact, after only five days I've lost 6 lbs, and I never have any cravings. Well, not never. Day 5 was pretty rough. I desperately wanted some bread. And the food is soooo delicious. It is organic, it is rich in fat which makes me feel not only full, but satisfied, something I never felt no matter how many carbs I guzzled when I was on my typical diet of sandwiches, chips, and cookies.
No, what's hard is that I have to plan ahead. That was hard even when we ate the other way, but then at least we could just go get some fries to everyone's delight when mommy didn't plan to make dinner in time, or have some rice crackers. And the other thing that's really hard is trusting that my children will eventually eat what they have been refusing for five years now. It's so heart-wrenching to see them this hungry, and to know that the easy way out could fix that. I'm not withholding food from them per se, they are withholding it from themselves, by not eating the healthy protein, fat, and carbs I provide for them. But it still feels like I'm the mother whose not feeding her kids, and what mother would do that? I keep on telling them though when they ask for the 'bad stuff' that I love them too much to give them things that will hurt their body.
I don't want to give up and go back to feeding them things that make them hyper, give them rashes, make their stomachs hurt, and have to cook the same three things for them, because they won't eat anything but rice, pasta, and chips. On the other hand I don't want to have to do this either. I wish I just wouldn't care. Whenever I have a bit of freedom ahead on the horizon, I manage to create more work for myself.
On the other hand, how can I not? Once I realized what is causing their health and mental problems, how can I not help it? But if I'm making the right decisions, choosing the better part if you will, why doesn't it feel better? Why isn't it easier? Why am I not happier? And why do other people get to have the cake and eat it too (I specifically mean have singing jobs, and have children as well)? I realize I'm getting very philosophical here, but with all the free time I have from not scheming about the foods I can eat, I find myself confronted with the very questions I tried to drown out with those carbs.
If I had to guess I would look for the explanation in delayed gratification. Often it seems that choosing the right is really choosing what will in the end benefit you most in the long run, not what is pleasant and easy first. I chose pleasant and easy (well, not that easy) for 5 years now (and much longer than that if we're honest), and I haven't gotten very far, and frankly it wasn't all that pleasant either. Not with my personal weightloss by giving in to my sweet tooth,  and not with Ezra's recovery from autism. This morning I just couldn't take another fight about the food from the kids. I was ready to give up, but thankfully I had support from my mom, who lives with us, in case you didn't know. She just told me to hang in there. And then I got another gift from a dear friend in Washington, which she had promised to send me for over a year now. The dedication in the book even read September 2010, but what a perfect day for it to arrive. It can't have been coincidence, that a ring with the inscription "Never, never, never quit" came on the day that I was ready to quit. (Therese you're an angel sent from heaven!) So I didn't. And tonight as I'm writing this post Micah was so hungry he asked for me to bring him more broth. Both of the kids ate a few bites of vegetables for dinner. Maybe, just maybe, this might work out in the end.  

Picky eaters battles: day 3 on the GAPS diet

Favorite quotes of the day:

Ezra: No soup. I want PIE for dinner. Make me some pie! 

Micah: Mom, my tummy is saying it wants rice crackers, bread, cookies, butter and jam for dinner. 

Mom: Uhu!

Micah: But my tummy said it.

Mom: Darling, your tummy is talking rubbish. Don't listen to it.  
Oh boy! I think at the end of the day I won the most battles. My little picky eaters are no less picky, but in absence of all they love, they are learning to push through some comfort zones. The kids were really like dead flies today, all the way up until it came to actually eating something they don't want to eat. They didn't want to drink anymore chicken broth in the morning, so I promised them a Lightning McQueen toy cell phone if they would drink their soup all up. It worked.  They did use some gag reflex on the chicken broth, but we got there in the end, and they were delighted with their new toy. I usually forbid toys with batteries. They are bad for the brain. If you want me to cite an article you're out of luck, because I have no time, but if you do some research you will come to the same conclusion which you then are free to ignore or follow.

You know, once you're trained in the Son-Rise program, it feels like plain old bribery when I do something like let them watch TV or get a toy to get them to eat the foods they don't want to eat. Typically Son-Rise is on the exact opposite of ABA (applied behavior analysis). To me Son-Rise makes a lot of sense. If you can get your kids excited about doing something, so they want to do it, then you have only fun and no battles. If you use ABA to do it, then they will do it, but they won't love it. As soon as you remove the incentive they discontinue the behavior. At least...that's what I think. I hope I'm wrong. I hope that the healthy foods I'm "bribing" them to eat will seal their stomachs, so that when they have moved through detox, they can learn to appreciate other tastes again. Today required a lot of comforting, holding, and explaining why we are doing this. At some level they understand that this diet will help them eat more foods, but as kids often do they thought there was no work involved, and they would get it now. I tried to explain to them the process, until I finally realized I was getting no where, I told them this was the "you eat whatever mommy makes for you"-diet, because I will make food for you that will help you.

For dinner we had meat ball soup with veggies. I gave the kids each a bowl. None of them would touch it. Ezra started screaming and having a panic attack. He kept asking for juice and TV, and I said he could have both if he ate his whole bowl of soup. He continued to cry and scream for 45 minutes without eating anything. Finally, seeing that this wasn't going anywhere, I told him he could have TV for one minute if he took a bite. He did. Micah had been refusing the soup too. Once the TV was on all I had to do was pause the video every minute. I told them that for every bite they took, I would let it play one minute. They tried to get away with taking tiny bites. I made a game out of it saying they would have take lion bites not birdy bites, or chipmunk bites. I would do funny little animal impressions corresponding to their bites. So I guess I did get a little bit of Son-rise technique in there. In the end they both ate all of their food, and got their juice.

It is remarkable to me how different Ezra is already, and even Micah. Ezra is typically so incredibly hyperactive and loud. Today he took a nap, and he slept in. He was only loud when he had his 45 minute tantrum before he finally ate his soup. Other than that, I saw more eye contact, and more presence in his eyes.

I did end up buying a juicer today and introducing juiced vegetable and fruit a bit earlier than the introduction diet suggests. I figured...it's organic, fresh juice, and they are little kids who need some energy. Ezra gulped it down. He didn't even care that I put some celery in it. My little picky eater number 2 remained unconvinced, but did have at least one glass.

Personally I'm surprised at how well I'm doing. I didn't eat much today (lack of planning), but I am not craving the carbs as much anymore. I had more energy, and tonight I even made my very first Sauerkraut, and Kimchi. This dog is learning new tricks!

Lovely England: 1st day of the Trip, Ferry and Canterbury.

I love England so much. It's the perfect place for someone like me, who is torn between her love for Europe and the US. England has the best of both worlds: beautiful open countryside, excellent and affordable dining, organic stores in every village, cheap shopping, amazon.co.uk, English bookstores, and of course, art, culture, history, and amazing architecture. On this blessed island I felt so at home that I had a very hard time leaving it.

Sadly I have a very lousy camera on my iPod. It didn't stop me from taking over 600 pictures. I'll condense them a bit.

 This was our very first Cornish Pasty. It's a pastry filled with beef and potatoes. It was actually one of the best I had on the whole trip. Ezra ate nothing but sausages and "chips" whenever we ate out, which was almost every day.

 Gotta admit, I had to get some fresh air on the Ferry ride.

 Ezra looking out the window of the ferry.

 They have a very efficient system in place. I highly recommend a ferry ride. They have shops on board, restaurants, and a lounge with cartoons on a TV for kids.

 The white cliffs of dover.

 Canterbury Cathedral. No photo I put up will do it justice. Canterbury is the head of the Anglican Church.

 Loved, loved, loved the courtyard.

On the way to our cottage in Bath we stopped to see my aunt and uncle who emigrated from Zimbabwe and now live in Basingstoke. I hadn't seen her for 16 years.

The boys and daddy at the restaurant.

The kids loved visiting Auntie Doreen's little cottage.

Rough dieting day

Today was overwhelming. The kids were pretty whiny in the morning, because they were so hungry. But it wasn't the usual whiny when they want something they don't need, but a true pleading: mommy I'm hungry. It's hard to watch them detox. They were lying around like dead flies today, even took a nap. Typically super hyper Ezra just shuffled around the house. They refused the soup again, so I applied some ABA and said that if they just had a little bit of soup I would let them watch one episode of Winnie the Pooh. I got a whole cup of soup into them. They both said it tasted and felt good. I think of lot of their taste issues are in their heads.
I'm missing fruit right now, and I'm a bit hungry too. I should go down and have more broth. We won't be eating any fruit for the next few weeks. I also am starting to realize what I've really gotten myself into. I wanted to throw in the towel several times today, when I realized that I would be responsible for cooking, and preparing everything. Right now for example, I should be downstairs preparing fermented vegetables and some more broth.
I should explain: the introduction to the GAPS diet is a phase during which all fiber is removed so the intestines have a chance to rest and heal (heal and seal). You're supposed to drink home made meat broth made from organic, preferably grass-fed animals for every meal. To that broth you add some fermented vegetable juice, or fermented yogurt, or whatever. Those two together help coat the intestines, and restore good bacteria to the gut. At the same time depriving our body from fiber and carbohydrates, helps eliminate the bad bacteria. However home made meat broth is essential, and although it doesn't take much work to make it, it does take time to cook (like 24-36 hours). This requires forethought. I have up until now not been very good at making and sticking with a meal plan. One of the reasons was that I simply got tired of making meals my kids wouldn't eat. 

Another hard part was that I spent 54 Euros for meat at the organic butcher. 3 organic chicken breasts cost me 19 Euros! It's insane. I got through that episode by thinking of the $10,000 we had to spend because of Aaron's kidney cancer, and about how a year in an autism school costs $75,000. Or supplements, or chelation, or all these other treatments cost so much more, than simply eating organic healthy food. And perhaps if more people did, it would get cheaper.

Then at dinner Ezra had a full on melt down and tantrum. It lasted about 30 minutes. I made sausages and "rice" which is cauliflower shredded to the consistency of rice and boiled in salt water. It's rather tasty, actually. I just put the cauliflower on his plate. He didn't want it there, so he started screaming and throwing some food. He ate his two sausages and wanted more. I made him have a bite of his cauliflower before giving him a slice of sausage. I remained calm and kind during the whole tantrum, but I still had a hard time seeing him like that. In the end what got me through this day was thinking
of how he threw a tantrum in the restaurant when we were on vacation, and how he refused to eat anything but sausages and fries at every place we went to. I thought of how short 2 years really are compared to a life time, and last but not least I thought of all the other mothers out there with picky eaters, and autistic children, who might come across my blog, and perhaps could find hope that it's possible, if I could only hang in there long enough to prove that it is. So I'll do it one more day. Off to pickled some cucumbers now.

Getting picky eaters to eat

Today has been the first day on our new grain free diet. We are doing the GAPS diet. GAPS stands for Gut and Psychology Syndrome. I have detailed in a previous post why we are doing this diet, so I'll leave you to this link if you want to find out more about it.

I know I'm not the only mother out there struggling to get my kids to eat. It is a rare child that isn't picky.

Some of the reasons that children are picky include these:

• they have sensory processing issues. That means that the food either doesn't feel good or does feel really good in their mouth. For example, I really can't stand creamy things. I don't care for the way it feels on my tongue. On the other hand I love everything crunchy. 
• We as mothers have taught them through our actions that if they fuss long enough we will give them what they want, just to get them to be quiet. 
• They have an unhealthy gut with too many bad bacteria which thrive on sugary foods. The bad bacteria makes us crave processed carbs. 
• They are getting high on food. Food is like a drug. In fact in the book "The Sugar Addict's Total Recovery Program" Dr. Katheleen Desmaisons recounts some studies done under a functional MRI to show that some people's brains (about 50%) react to sugar the same way as if they had just had heroine. They get a pay off. Now put that reaction in a three year old with an unlimited capacity, motivation, and stubbornness to demand what he wants, and you know why you're still feeding him those crackers and cookies. 
• They have underlying medical conditions. Ezra never did like peanut butter, refused it all the time. Turns out he is very allergic to it.
• They watch what their parents eat and eat the same.

I'm sure there are loads more reasons. In fact if you know some please feel free to comment. I can see on my stats page that lots of people read this blog, but very few comment.

The challenge in helping your picky eater overcome his habits is that you can't always be sure why he isn't eating. I can say from my personal experience that I let my mommy fear "but he'll be hungry and starve" always get in the way. And behind the fear is of course a realization that I simply don't want to deal with tantrums, or that I don't want to be a mean mom who lets her child go hungry. Also, it is just easier to give the food they want rather than spending money and time preparing something delicious and healthy only to have them fuss or throw food.  

So how come I'm brave enough to try it now? Having two very picky eaters at home, one autistic, and one highly sensitive to texture I have put off this diet for 3 years now, because I just couldn't imagine doing it and getting them to eat. Finally, I have read enough to convince me that there just isn't any other way if I want them to have a healthy, happy life. In addition to that I talked to several friends whose autistic sibling has gotten older and their food preferences have narrowed even more. They are all carb addicts, if not treated. My kids complain about itchy ears (from eczema), and stomach pains every day. They get colds, they have food intolerances and allergies that only get worse, and are severely limited in their diet. Some people might think...but isn't it limiting to eat a grain free diet? No bread, no pasta, no chips, no fries, no cakes, no muffins? Well, that's the only thing they really ate before, so really their diet is limited now. I think this will broaden their horizons. Micah refuses all fruits and vegetables for example. I should also mention that the GAPS diet does have recipes for cakes, cookies, muffins, pancakes etc, but using nut flour instead of normal flour. And once they're through the introduction phase, I don't see the GAPS being much more complicated than anything else. A salad with some protein takes less time to assemble than cooking rice and pasta. Even broccoli is boiled quicker than rice. The only thing that really is less convenient is that you can't just go buy food at the store. Just about everything has to be prepared at home. My mother keeps saying that this is the way they used to live, and cook back on the farm in South Africa. In a sense I think one of the major stumbling blocks to a healthy diet in children is the desire of the mother to lead her own life, have a career, and a family on the side. Being a homemaker is looked down on. How many times have we heard or said: I'm JUST a mom? But that is a discussion for another blog.

Anyway, enough rambling. The first day went OK. In preparation to starting the diet I got rid of all the food we can't eat. Yes, I'm doing it with them. I didn't throw it all away. I do believe in food storage, so I stored it away in case of emergency. I stocked my kitchen with the necessary foods and equipment, bought a GAPS introductory meal plan online, and took a cooking class for GAPS (also online). I have also been talking for a month now with the kids about the special diet we would be doing together. I explained to them why we are doing it and what it will help us do (like eat cheese, and yogurt, not have stomach aches or itchy ears).
Today I got up and had some beef broth. Yes, not that yum for breakfast, but it felt good. For lunch I had some delicious chicken and broccoli. I eat whenever I'm hungry, or drink some soup. The kids ate nothing all morning refusing soup. Micah ate a handful of chicken at lunch. Whenever they asked for food I would offer them what we had. If they declined I didn't press the issue. In a way I'm doing this just how I potty trained Ezra. I just got rid of the diapers, and apologized that we didn't buy them anymore every time he asked for one. Eventually Ezra went potty. Took him 3 days, but he did it, and we never looked back. I'm hoping it will go this smooth with this.
So in short they didn't eat hardly anything all day. At dinner I made hamburger patties with grated carrots and onions, fried in some beef tallow. DELICIOUS, by the way. I served them with raw carrots. The kids refused again, and I left it at that. At about 7 PM Ezra was starving and so he sat down and ate all his carrots, the beef patty, as well as Micah's. I gave them Red Bush tea to drink.
Now they're in bed, slightly hungry. I'm feeling hungry too, but that's just because I didn't eat enough vegetables.
I definitely need to get a juicer tomorrow, so I can start making some juices for them. I invite you to check back to see our progress in getting my carb addicts to eat other foods. I expect there will be some ups and downs.