My opinion on Gay Relationships and Christians

I've been thinking a lot about this, and I just wanted to make my position clear. There is a lot about the gay movement that irks me, and a lot of (not so) "Christian" responses that irritate me.

What prompted this post? I was called in for an interrogation at the police station the other day. I wouldn't really call it an interrogation, because there were no two-way mirrors, no harsh lights, no cops hovering over you to squeeze that ultimate confession from you, just one girl with short spiky hair, angular glasses, no make-up, and a great desire to talk about her gay relationship.

We were talking about my autistic son, and the difficulty I've been having getting help for him here. Somehow that prompted her to open up about how judgmental the Dutch are about her being in a Gay relationship, which surprised me, as I thought the Dutch were fairly progressive. She related how she lives in a village where a lot of people attend church. She called herself atheist and told me that those Christians were crazy because they believed gay people were evil.
As the mother of an autistic child, I'm well aware of what it feels like to be judged. Many look at Ezra as stupid, weird, different, and at me as the one to blame. Even those close to us, who know and love us don't really get it. So in some way I can very easily relate to what it's like to be judged for who you are. People see Ezra's autistic behaviors. They rarely see him, a human being in need of love and acceptance. He is different, and it's obvious. But as Temple Grandin's mother would say: different, not less!

I told this police officer, and I tell you dear readers, that I absolutely know that there is a God, and that it is my belief that he didn't intend for women or men to act on same sex attraction or engage in same sex relationships. I'm not denying the reality of same sex attraction (nor did God, for that matter), and I'm definitely not going to get into a debate on whether or not one is born with it. My personal opinion is that one isn't born with it, but honestly, it's just an opinion, which I can neither prove nor disprove, and might change in a few years. Either way, it doesn't matter how you feel, or where it came from.  It doesn't matter what happened to you in your past, or even now, whether you were abused or not. The only relevant question for every one is: what do you want to do with this now, and really: what do YOU want!

I  explained to the officer, that even though I strongly held these beliefs, I had no issue whatsoever with her living her life as she saw fit. I don't judge her for her choice. In fact, as a singer, I have come in contact with many people who have same sex attraction and are married to each other. I love them, I respect them, enjoy working with them, and I'm proud to call them friends. I'm happy for their joy in their relationship. Happy people are usually kinder people!

It seems perhaps a contradiction that I call myself Christian, disagree with same sex relationships, but still have no problem with people living them. This however is what I take from reading in Christ's teachings, and I think a lot of Christians are missing the point, when they go around accusing others of being evil. To you I say: how on earth did you come to the conclusion after reading the scriptures that it's OK to judge or hurt others for not choosing to live the principles Christ taught? And what about the woman taken in adultery whom the pharisees wanted to stone? Christ asked those who were without sin to cast the first stone. Everyone left, because no one was without sin. None of us are innocent before God except little children. God gave us free agency, and it is up to each individual to either accept or refuse his teachings. Christ is the judge. If Christ has a problem with gay couples, I'm sure He can handle it without us. I want for myself the right to believe whatever I want to believe, and live my life according to the principles that I think will lead to my happiness. And if I want that for myself, I can only truly have it, if I grant that same freedom to others. I don't need the whole world to be married heterosexual couples for myself to be happy. So that's what irks me about Christians. If you truly call yourself Christian, then be kind, tolerant, and loving to all men and women, regardless of how they live and what they do. And by the way, and this deserves a whole separate post, telling people they're evil doesn't help them come to Christ. Ask yourself: if you're unkind and judgmental to someone, why would they want to learn about Christ, let alone attend a meeting where there are more people like you? The motivating-by-hellfire-and-damnation is a medieval church practice. It doesn't work well. The only power that can affect healing, and change is love, charity, and acceptance.


That said, here is what irks me about the "gay movement." Now please note, this doesn't apply to every gay person I ever met, just to some of the "extremists." I just stated above that "I don't need the whole world to be happily married heterosexual couples to be happy myself." I find some gays apply a double standard when they ask to believe as they choose and call Christians gay bashers, while they are bashing Christians for not agreeing with their choices.
Also, I've only ever experienced gays do this, but some seem to feel the need to flaunt their sexual exploits to the world through pictures or detailed accounts. Personally, I don't want to hear it from anyone regardless of orientation. And this brings me to pride parades...what the heck? I don't want to see floats with huge genitalia and sexual exploits portrayed. I choose to stay home, but I really don't understand why anyone feels such a display is necessary. If you have attended one and care to enlighten me, please feel free to comment.
Further: you can't claim that you are equal and at the same time demand to be treated differently. What I mean is why ask for harsher punishments on gay persecution, or gay attacks. No one should be persecuted, attacked, or bullied whether they are Straight, Gay, Black, Caucasian, Jews, Muslims, Christians, handicapped, or whatever. (The only exception I make here is harsher punishments for child traffickers, and pedophiles, because children need to be protected!) And no one should be killed because they look or believe differently!
And lastly, what I fundamentally disagree with is that when you have same sex attraction you have no choice but to act on it, and that you can never change. This to me is a limiting belief and a victim-mentality which very often has unhappiness as a consequence. I believe humans are capable of anything they want to do, even if it seems impossible. I have an overwhelming desire to eat all the chocolate I see. I believe it's not good for my body, and so I choose to abstain from it (no really, haven't eaten it in 3.5 years). If someone has same sex attraction, and if they believe that it's not good for their soul to act on it, and if they want to change how they feel, and find joy in a heterosexual relationship, then who are we to tell them he/she can't or shouldn't, or that he/she is denying her true nature? Humans change and evolve all the time. It's none of our business how others choose to find happiness. And just like with my son Ezra, I resent people telling me what he can and cannot do. You don't know! Keep your limiting beliefs to yourself, please! Let him find out what he's capable of, and let us support and believe in him no matter what it is he wants to do. Seeing same sex attraction -or any feeling, tendency, interest- as something you have no choice in is a victim mentality. You always have a choice whether it is to embrace it or alter it. 

I have observed that people who blame others for their unhappiness, instead of taking responsibility for their own actions, tend to not be very happy. Think about it. You try to change everyone around you, so you can be happy? Everyone has to agree with you for you to be happy? Waste of time, friends. As mother Theresa once said: if you judge people, you have no time to love them. We can choose how we want to feel, and we decide on our definition of happiness. We are our own best experts. Today is Good Friday, the day I remember that Christ gave his life because he loved us all, even though we rejected him and crucified him. I dedicate this post to Him and to you all. I don't care what you believe, or what you do. I only care about your happiness. Today I want to just love and celebrate you for being human.