Breda with the family and what to do when you see an autistic child

View of the old city, canal, and citadel of Breda

Traveling with an autistic child is difficult, sometimes even impossible. Can you imagine what it is like to get very little sleep every night because of your child's difficulty sleeping, then go put in a hard day's work, come home at the end of the day justifiably tired to tantrums, an exhausted spouse. Then know that when all your colleagues and friends go on vacation to beautiful beaches and exotic locations, you will be staying home, because your child can't handle any change in routine, and because crowds and noises overwhelm him. Can you fathom what it is like to never go anywhere, not even the store, without planning for someone to take care of your child? To drive five miles out of your way, just to avoid the tantrum you know will ensue if he sees a certain store/restaurant that he wants to go to? No visits to the beautiful places of the world, even the ones close to you, and creating for your kids the kind of childhood memories you still cherish. No stays in hotels or camping, because your autistic child can't figure out how to rest his body, and all of you will be up for most of the night, listening to screaming.
Autistic children crave control, because their surroundings don't make sense to them. It is an overwhelming, chaotic influx of stimuli, which brains of neuro-typical children can easily sort out and categorize, tuning some things out if necessary. Not so for the autistic brain. From what I've gathered overwhelming stimuli has one of two effects on them: either it is such an overload that they shut down and cry trying to get out of the situation, or it is so stimulating to them that it acts on their brain like a drug, making them crave more and more. They will have a high from going out, but as we all know, what goes up comes down, and when they come down, we have the same reaction as the child that is overwhelmed at the beginning.
Consider then, dear reader, that the next time you are enjoying some time out with your family or friends, and you see a child acting completely out of control, that this might just be a family who has spent the last 3 years at home every single day with their child, have not had a break, a vacation, or time away from or with their children, have spent most of their money funding therapies, spend their time cooking special diets, can't eat out without their child having reactions, haven't slept right since the child was born, and against all odds have decided to venture out to give life in the world out there a try. The child isn't bad or evil, and the parents aren't irresponsible and incapable. No need to call the police or child services. Offering help, however kindly meant, will likely result in the child screaming more. Don't judge, don't criticize, and if you want to roll your eyes, and shake your head...by all means, although if you're doing it to get the parents to notice that their child is misbehaving...um, thank you captain obvious! And before you kindly or impatiently suggest to them to tell their child to stop just ask yourself: if they could, wouldn't they have already? At the end of the day though, I can promise you that you'll feel a lot better if you assume the child has special needs, and the parents and child are doing the best they can. Think a good thought for them, and thank whatever Higher Power you believe in, that your children are healthy, and that you can take them places and enjoy the good things in life (to whatever extent you chose to).


We are very fortunate that we can take Ezra with us. He is the second type I described and really craves input, and then melts down afterward, when his brain craves another fix that he doesn't get. We only take him for short trips. Lucky for us we live in Holland, and are surrounded by gorgeous, ancient cities within 1-2 hours driving distance.

Here then is another visit to a city close by; beautiful Breda. This is one of the "younger" cities of the Netherlands dating back to 1100 AD. We spent about two hours walking around the charming old town, and then found a park for the kids to play in. It was very manageable and absolutely perfect weather.

Ezra and Daddy in front of the Cathedral

I absolutely loved the ceiling.

There is a famous organ festival held in Breda each year.

By the way, I did not coordinate my children's clothes. Ezra likes to dress Micah, and usually makes sure that whatever he is wearing matches what Micah wears.

Having a little snack on the bridge.

Nothing like a giant cell phone to entertain the kids!

"Whipped Cream, Spaghetti, Coffee, Sausage, Ice Cream" We had our doubts about this restaurant.

Hideous playground structure in the castle park. The kids had a lot of fun though.