Food Fights and Autism

So here is a video of Ezra tonight having a hard time choosing Option number 2 (see below for explanation). Granny made dinner. When you watch the video, just consider that Ezra has eaten and liked beef in all sorts of shapes and preparation methods before, and he likes it...usually.
As most of you know we use the Son-Rise program at our house. Or at least we pretend to. Really, if you do Son-Rise it's like a life philosophy. Anyway, there is one area where I use more ABA and that is in the area of food. Sometimes I regret going this route, because as is the problem with ABA it doesn't really build relationship or teach them how to love and want to do something (i.e. eat food that is good for them).
Ezra was such a picky eater that he wouldn't accept anything at all unless he got some kind of reward or treat for it. One of the tricky things about doing a GAPS diet for both kids is that I can't use different standards for the kids. Not really. And at first it was actually my younger typically developing son who had a harder time and would throw tantrums before trying a new food. Now he pretty much will try a little bit of everything, but it still takes a while. I started using a dry erase board every time they had a tantrum. I drew a line down the middle and explained to them they had two options.

Option 1:
Cry, scream, hit, throw food, yell, not eat! -->Result: hungry, cranky, nothing else to eat, and eat whatever they didn't eat for breakfast, lunch. And they will also have wasted a lot of my time and energy, which means I won't have much left to play with them after dinner.
Option 2:
Just try a bit of everything, eat most of your food, get more yummy food. -->Result: feel full, happy, and we'll have more time to play together afterwards.


For Micah and Ezra writing things down really helps them understand better what they need to do, to arrive at the result they want. I have started applying the practice of drawing up their options into other areas of our life. I want them to learn that our actions determine our results. If I was the ideal mom I would be able to stay calm and supportive during every break down they have, sadly, I fall short of that ideal  multiple times a day. I'm working on it though.