Micah had a great day, I think, enjoyed all his favorite foods, and especially his new toys.
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| Micah's 3rd Birthday July 5th 2010 |
Monday, July 12, 2010
Micah's 3rd Birthday
We had a blast on Micah's birthday. We live in a tiny town called Best, outside of Eindhoven. In this tiny town there is a huge fair once a year, one of the biggest in the Netherlands. 250,000 people visit it and it happened to fall on Micah's birthday. Saturday and Sunday it was horribly hot, so we stayed away, but the temperatures cooled on Monday and Tuesday, so we went and had such a blast watching the kids go on rides. I wanted to get myself a stuffed tiger so badly, that I ended up buying one, because my archery skills are not quite up to par. But at least I hit one balloon, after my first try shooting an arrow.
Micah had a great day, I think, enjoyed all his favorite foods, and especially his new toys.
Micah had a great day, I think, enjoyed all his favorite foods, and especially his new toys.
Independence Day, and Micah's 3rd Birthday Party
Micah's birthday is so close to Independence Day that we decided to combine the two events. We had an absolutely brilliant time barbecuing and swimming in our back yard with our friends the Knudsens and the Daams. Ezra and Micah are madly in love with the Knudsens oldest daughter Jori, who has been volunteering for Ezra's son-rise program. She has the most amazing blue eyes. And the three "younger" sons Chris, Malachi, and DJ have acquired hero status in Micah's and Ezra's eyes. Of course any party must include Melissa and Mark with their daughters Kailea and Ella. Our gathering was very merry, and I admit publicly that Sheldon Knudsen was in fact not as biased as I thought, and that Oscar Meyer hot dogs (supplied from the Airforce base, thank you very kindly) really are worlds better than Lidl hot dogs from Europe.
It was fun to see Micah being the center of attention. He was so shy about it, but thrilled too. Usually everything is about Ezra. People come over to play with Ezra in a special room. In reality Micah gets a lot of attention, but it's still different. Micah's favorite present was probably having Jori all to himself. She showered him with attention and he ate it up. Another great gift was that his Opa finally came to visit. He spent time playing with the kids, and treated us to Chinese dinner, and to the awesome fair here in Best. It's one of the biggest in the Netherlands, and more than 250,000 people visit during the course of five days.
Enjoy some the pictures.
It was fun to see Micah being the center of attention. He was so shy about it, but thrilled too. Usually everything is about Ezra. People come over to play with Ezra in a special room. In reality Micah gets a lot of attention, but it's still different. Micah's favorite present was probably having Jori all to himself. She showered him with attention and he ate it up. Another great gift was that his Opa finally came to visit. He spent time playing with the kids, and treated us to Chinese dinner, and to the awesome fair here in Best. It's one of the biggest in the Netherlands, and more than 250,000 people visit during the course of five days.
Enjoy some the pictures.
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| 4th of July and Micah's 3 Birthday Party July 2010 |
Thursday, July 1, 2010
I'm so powerful
It's one of these nights where I'm really wishing for A/C. It's about 93 degrees outside and only starting to cool off. Our house has a tarred flat roof which means it's essentially like a sauna on the second floor, where the bedrooms are. It might be a good thing though, because if it wasn't for me being so uncomfortable I know this would never get written. I'd just go to sleep, instead of writing.
I've begun following my natural inclinations and have started counseling and feel very at home in it. It is a very specific type of counseling and differs greatly from most counseling jobs. It is based on the principles of the Option Process, which was created by the same guy who created the Son-Rise program that we're doing with Ezra. Essentially in this type of counseling, the client is the director. I ask questions that help the client examine their behaviors and beliefs, and then to find their own answers, and solutions, based on what they want to do. The key principles of this method are to be non-judgmental, loving, accepting, and especially non-directive as a counselor. FYI if any of you are interested in trying it out, I'm looking for clients to practice on. No charge, yet.
Tonight I did such a session with a friend of mine. This is the second session we've had, and I feel so edified after it I have to write it down. But first a little introduction to the the process is necessary. In the option process we believe that all our actions, all our behaviors are the results not of our external surroundings and the stimuli they emit but of our internal beliefs about them. We MAKE belief!
STIMULUS ----> BELIEF ------> RESPONSE
To clarify, an example:
Stimulus: there is a traffic jam on the way to work
Response: Client gets angry and cranky
What can the client change about that? He could in future avoid that route. That would be trying to change the stimulus. But that could lead to him getting stuck behind a tractor, or his car breaking down, his spouse calling saying he forgot his key card at home, and he might still be late to work. So in essence trying to control the stimulus is difficult/impossible. The next thing the client might try to change is the response: "well getting angry and cranky is bad. I shouldn't do that, it's bad for my cholesterol, etc." So he tries to change the behavior. That usually results in a long list of to-do's, shoulds, needs, and the familiar new years resolutions, that leave everyone falling short. Controlling behavior is possible but it works only sporadically in best case scenarios and is rather laborious. In the option process I try to identify the belief behind the getting angry and cranky. Why do you get angry, I would ask. And after some probing it turns out that he gets angry because he believes that being late will make him look bad and his boss won't like it. And after more probing we'll figure out that the real belief is: I'm not good enough, I want my boss to confirm that, and by being late, he won't. So here he thinks the problem is that he has a short fuse in traffic, when really his belief of not being good enough is the cause. He could change it simply to I'm good enough and don't have to prove anything.
This view of stimulus-belief-response means that we are in control of our response, because we can chose what we believe. We have the power to chose how we want to feel and what we want to believe. It struck me during the session with my friend how beautifully her main underlying belief, I am a bad person, guided her every action and in-action. She made the entire world, all the people in it align with that belief. No matter how successful she is in her chosen career (and she is) she finds ways to confirm how others are better than her, and how she is a bad person because of being in that chosen career. Whatever good she does is viewed only in terms of the good she didn't do. When we chose a belief, our entire body and our subconscious immediately goes to work to confirm our belief, looking for evidence of said belief. I was so in awe of her power and celebrated her for it. I realized that no matter what our mental or physical challenges, no matter the circumstances we find ourselves in, there is a power within us that no man can take from us. We can align the entire world, and every one in it, to serve our belief. And if that belief is: I'm a bad person, I'm not good enough, or I'm truly happy and blessed...we will find the evidence for it. That is truly inspiring!
So with that thought all written down, I will now go to sleep with my brand new belief that I can sleep when it's really hot, and even though it's late, I will have enough rest to get up early.
I've begun following my natural inclinations and have started counseling and feel very at home in it. It is a very specific type of counseling and differs greatly from most counseling jobs. It is based on the principles of the Option Process, which was created by the same guy who created the Son-Rise program that we're doing with Ezra. Essentially in this type of counseling, the client is the director. I ask questions that help the client examine their behaviors and beliefs, and then to find their own answers, and solutions, based on what they want to do. The key principles of this method are to be non-judgmental, loving, accepting, and especially non-directive as a counselor. FYI if any of you are interested in trying it out, I'm looking for clients to practice on. No charge, yet.
Tonight I did such a session with a friend of mine. This is the second session we've had, and I feel so edified after it I have to write it down. But first a little introduction to the the process is necessary. In the option process we believe that all our actions, all our behaviors are the results not of our external surroundings and the stimuli they emit but of our internal beliefs about them. We MAKE belief!
STIMULUS ----> BELIEF ------> RESPONSE
To clarify, an example:
Stimulus: there is a traffic jam on the way to work
Response: Client gets angry and cranky
What can the client change about that? He could in future avoid that route. That would be trying to change the stimulus. But that could lead to him getting stuck behind a tractor, or his car breaking down, his spouse calling saying he forgot his key card at home, and he might still be late to work. So in essence trying to control the stimulus is difficult/impossible. The next thing the client might try to change is the response: "well getting angry and cranky is bad. I shouldn't do that, it's bad for my cholesterol, etc." So he tries to change the behavior. That usually results in a long list of to-do's, shoulds, needs, and the familiar new years resolutions, that leave everyone falling short. Controlling behavior is possible but it works only sporadically in best case scenarios and is rather laborious. In the option process I try to identify the belief behind the getting angry and cranky. Why do you get angry, I would ask. And after some probing it turns out that he gets angry because he believes that being late will make him look bad and his boss won't like it. And after more probing we'll figure out that the real belief is: I'm not good enough, I want my boss to confirm that, and by being late, he won't. So here he thinks the problem is that he has a short fuse in traffic, when really his belief of not being good enough is the cause. He could change it simply to I'm good enough and don't have to prove anything.
This view of stimulus-belief-response means that we are in control of our response, because we can chose what we believe. We have the power to chose how we want to feel and what we want to believe. It struck me during the session with my friend how beautifully her main underlying belief, I am a bad person, guided her every action and in-action. She made the entire world, all the people in it align with that belief. No matter how successful she is in her chosen career (and she is) she finds ways to confirm how others are better than her, and how she is a bad person because of being in that chosen career. Whatever good she does is viewed only in terms of the good she didn't do. When we chose a belief, our entire body and our subconscious immediately goes to work to confirm our belief, looking for evidence of said belief. I was so in awe of her power and celebrated her for it. I realized that no matter what our mental or physical challenges, no matter the circumstances we find ourselves in, there is a power within us that no man can take from us. We can align the entire world, and every one in it, to serve our belief. And if that belief is: I'm a bad person, I'm not good enough, or I'm truly happy and blessed...we will find the evidence for it. That is truly inspiring!
So with that thought all written down, I will now go to sleep with my brand new belief that I can sleep when it's really hot, and even though it's late, I will have enough rest to get up early.
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