Aaron loved it. I loved parts of it. No one gets off in the Netherlands for an American Holiday, and so inviting people for a Thanksgiving Eve cooking party or the Thursday dinner was complicated. Instead Aaron went to have CT scan for his cancer check up on Thursday. We planned to have him take the day off Friday and treat ourselves to going to Brussels, our favorite place, and feast on delicious Belgian waffles and chocolate instead of a dead fowl. The plan was so simple, so brilliant, and a bit flawed as we didn't account for the bad weather, which honestly, I'm not sure why we still maintain hope to see sunshine before next May. Even a bit of rain wouldn't have stopped us, but Ezra is sick. He's been getting worse and finally today I just kept him home. He lay around all day. It was precious in it's on way, as he asked to just snuggle with me several times, and then actually lay cuddled up next to me for several hours. We all just hung out around the house, content to play and lounge. That is a bit of a miracle in its own way. At about 2 pm, I started to get restless not having done anything all day besides making a special Dutch pancake breakfast. I started to decorate for Christmas. If only they had Christmas trees for sale already. At least our nutcrackers and angels are in place as well as the poinsettias.
What this experience has taught me is that Thanksgiving is really not about a specific item on the menu. It is the preparing and working towards creating a time, place, and reason for family and friends to come together in peace, and celebrate abundance through taking time off, creating delicious food and enjoying it together (and then going nuts shopping on black friday. Nothing says abundance like a "SALE" sign).
We might still go to Brussels tomorrow. Depends on how Ezra feels.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone.
Alright. It's two days later and I might as well add to this post what happened Saturday and Sunday. The weather was even worse on Saturday, and so was Ezra. I spent the greater part of the day and evening just lying on the couch holding him. He is a cute kid when he's sick, just good natured, and asks: Mommy snuggle with Ezra?
I figured that if we're not going to go anywhere I might as well cook a thanksgiving dinner, so today, Sunday, I did. Some things turned out terrific like the stuffing and the pumpkin bread that I made using an organic pumpkin, no cans. It really has a completely different taste. And Aaron made fabulous mashed potatoes. I'm not sure how the cranberry pear pie turned out because now I have an upset stomach, and Micah has been sick all day with high fever. Ezra was sick all morning but was back to normal by the afternoon. He watched Monsters Inc twice, and in general has been enjoying all the TV watching.
Friday, November 27, 2009
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Paragraph in which I tell you about funny quotes
The kids favorite movie right now is The Incredibles. Ezra loves naming all the machines he sees in it, and is most excited about anything that shows an elevator. My favorite part however is watching Micah crack up at Mr.Incredible's very short insurance boss, when he stomps around him saying "I'm NOT happy, Bob". I have no idea why he thinks it so funny, but he goes around saying "I'm not happy" complete with dramatic pause and exclamation, with a big impish grin on his face that stands in perfect contradiction to his words. Mom and I couldn't get enough of hearing him say it, especially at the table. This is probably one of those things I'll look back on and think I should have gone for good parenting instead of entertainment. When we're eating, I'll ask him: how is your food Micah?, and he'll answer "I'm NOT happy". Mom and I can't stop laughing which only encourages him of course. "What, you don't like your food?"
"Micah, not happy!"
Before they took to The Incredibles M and E were on a Little Einsteins kick. Each show ends with little Leo exclaiming: "See you on your next mission!". Ezra has come to think these are the customary parting words for when someone leaves your sight. ONe day we were on the fourth floor of C&A in the children's department shopping for jeans. While I was looking through the racks, he played next to the elevator. When the door opened and a lady with stroller went in, he shouted at full volume: "see you on your next mission".
"Micah, not happy!"
Before they took to The Incredibles M and E were on a Little Einsteins kick. Each show ends with little Leo exclaiming: "See you on your next mission!". Ezra has come to think these are the customary parting words for when someone leaves your sight. ONe day we were on the fourth floor of C&A in the children's department shopping for jeans. While I was looking through the racks, he played next to the elevator. When the door opened and a lady with stroller went in, he shouted at full volume: "see you on your next mission".
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Just for the heck of it
I'm writing my blog tonight so I have something to show for the evening on the computer. I make such good plans during the day of what I will do in the evening; working on my concert repertoire, practicing, working out, going horseback riding, preparing things for the next day, studying Ezra's specialized language instruction curriculum, researching treatments for autism, reading the great books that I have, working on a novel...But when it comes to seven pm, I'm toast. All my brain is good for seems to be to browse facebook or trivial news. I can't handle anything but entertainment news. For one thing it amuses me, sort of morbid curiosity why people make such a big deal over which movie stars are going out with each other, and because I simply can't handle reading the other news. It depresses me.
I spend some time during the day on the computer, most of which I read up on autism, or try to locate resources. By the end of the day, I'm tired of reading about autism. Everything I do in my life seems to be about autism. I feel like the more I read the less I know. I'm on this yahoo group for parents of autistic children. It's daunting to see how many things people have tried. Some have seen results, but none report a full recovery. There are so many treatments out there. It's exhausting to weed through, administer, and finance them. Recently I made a list of needs that each family member has, so I could see how I can fit it in our schedule. When writing them down, I finally realized what the difference between having a normal child and a child with special needs really means.
My typically developing two year old's needs are these:
Time with mommy, time with daddy, learning stimulation, play dates, exercise
Ezras needs:
the same as Micahs plus: specialized learning instruction, supervised and facilitated peer play, occupational-, speech-, physical-, therapy, floor time (kind of like a play therapy to help develop communication), lots of one-on-one active engagement so he can't withdraw, qigong massage, specialized diet
So with that much to do, find, organize, and research, I shouldn't worry about not having much of a career. And yet, I do. Too bad I can't get a PHD for all the reading of reports, medical journals, and developmental books.
I spend some time during the day on the computer, most of which I read up on autism, or try to locate resources. By the end of the day, I'm tired of reading about autism. Everything I do in my life seems to be about autism. I feel like the more I read the less I know. I'm on this yahoo group for parents of autistic children. It's daunting to see how many things people have tried. Some have seen results, but none report a full recovery. There are so many treatments out there. It's exhausting to weed through, administer, and finance them. Recently I made a list of needs that each family member has, so I could see how I can fit it in our schedule. When writing them down, I finally realized what the difference between having a normal child and a child with special needs really means.
My typically developing two year old's needs are these:
Time with mommy, time with daddy, learning stimulation, play dates, exercise
Ezras needs:
the same as Micahs plus: specialized learning instruction, supervised and facilitated peer play, occupational-, speech-, physical-, therapy, floor time (kind of like a play therapy to help develop communication), lots of one-on-one active engagement so he can't withdraw, qigong massage, specialized diet
So with that much to do, find, organize, and research, I shouldn't worry about not having much of a career. And yet, I do. Too bad I can't get a PHD for all the reading of reports, medical journals, and developmental books.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
High Tea for Mom's 66th Birthday
I'll add in the pictures soon. We had a great time on Wednesday for Mom's 66th birthday. I invited Nelly to come for High Tea. We had a blast, and the kids were super excited that they got to watch so much TV and taste all the cakes and sandwiches. The funnest part about that day was when I was preparing the white bread traditional tea sandwiches. I cut off the crusts of course. Micah hadn't really had any lunch, so he came to ask me for a sandwich. Typically I only have whole wheat bread with grains for the kids, and I never cut off the crust. This time, I gave Micah a white bread butter and jam sandwich without crust. He looked at it with big eyes and reverently carried it to the couch saying "Thank you mommy, Thank you mommy" for about two minutes. My mom filled me in on what I missed: he sat down on the couch, took his first bite, and blissfully closed his eyes as he reclined on the pillow.
Micah is such a clown. He's the comic relief in our family.
RDW
This week has been fraught with figurative headaches. Before we came to the NL we checked whether or not it would make sense to bring our car. On the RDW website(the dutch license plate agency) they had a list of requirements for cars in Europe. It didn't look like we would need to change anything. When I actually went to the RDW, not only did they misinform us about all the papers we were supposed to bring, I had to wait 3 hours for them to check the car, because I had no appointment, which they say you couldn't get. And then they made me wait even longer because the papers weren't ready, but they were taking their lunch break. They said:"your car is checked, but we're going to have lunch now, so pick up the paperwork afterwards". So I waited, and 20 minutes after they were back from lunch (i had spent 5 hours there by then) I told them to just email me the papers, as I had to go down to Eindhoven to pick up Ezra. Anyway, so it turns out that it cost us 1690 Euros to make the changes, and for some reason this mechanic (who is very nice though)doesn't take credit cards or give you a bill. He wants cash!!?? It's been a real pain, honestly. We were supposed to pick up the car today, but haven't been able to yet, because we weren't able to get the cash on the weekend.
In the grand scheme of things 1700 Euros seems like a laughable amount, but right now, after all we have had to pay to get over here in the first place...we're not seeing the humor in it.
As a result of being car-less I went to the acupuncturist on bike, and grocery shopping the Dutch way: on bike with the kids in the buggy, and the saddle bags on the side. I think I prefer grocery shopping with the car. I've driven a car for so long that switching to bike is weird.
Other than that the weather has been cold, and rainy all week. On the plus side our grass is doing very well.
In other news, Ezra is doing really well with the taxi. He's not doing so well otherwise. He has been screaming a lot, shouting, saying "nee, nee, nee, nee" (which means no in Dutch). He keeps on asking to go sleep on the plane and looks at pictures of his cousins in the States a lot. I think he remembers that in order to come to the NL he had to sleep on the plane, and I'm pretty sure he's trying to tell us that he wants to go back home. I'm a bit at my wits end with him. I've been working for 4 months to get him therapies here (1 month to get health insurance set up, 1 to find therapists who speak english and are familiar with autism, 1 month to get them to call me back and give me an appointment, and 1/2 month that we've been doing therapy). He hates them. He isn't getting anything from his therapies, and I end up driving him around for 3 hours a day. He is frustrated, and overwhelmed. Also he's at the developmental age of a 2 year old, so he's going through his terrible twos right now, as a 4 year old. I feel like I'm doing all I can and am still making backward steps.
In the grand scheme of things 1700 Euros seems like a laughable amount, but right now, after all we have had to pay to get over here in the first place...we're not seeing the humor in it.
As a result of being car-less I went to the acupuncturist on bike, and grocery shopping the Dutch way: on bike with the kids in the buggy, and the saddle bags on the side. I think I prefer grocery shopping with the car. I've driven a car for so long that switching to bike is weird.
Other than that the weather has been cold, and rainy all week. On the plus side our grass is doing very well.
In other news, Ezra is doing really well with the taxi. He's not doing so well otherwise. He has been screaming a lot, shouting, saying "nee, nee, nee, nee" (which means no in Dutch). He keeps on asking to go sleep on the plane and looks at pictures of his cousins in the States a lot. I think he remembers that in order to come to the NL he had to sleep on the plane, and I'm pretty sure he's trying to tell us that he wants to go back home. I'm a bit at my wits end with him. I've been working for 4 months to get him therapies here (1 month to get health insurance set up, 1 to find therapists who speak english and are familiar with autism, 1 month to get them to call me back and give me an appointment, and 1/2 month that we've been doing therapy). He hates them. He isn't getting anything from his therapies, and I end up driving him around for 3 hours a day. He is frustrated, and overwhelmed. Also he's at the developmental age of a 2 year old, so he's going through his terrible twos right now, as a 4 year old. I feel like I'm doing all I can and am still making backward steps.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Second day on the taxi-bus
This time I was smart. I let Ezra's teachers put him on the taxi-bus at 1 pm, and didn't drive behind him. I think the first time around it really upset him to see me and our car. It worked. No tears! He came home very proud of himself. I was proud of him too, and my mom was almost emotional.
Monday, November 2, 2009
First day on the Taxi for Ezra
I have been putting this off for a while. I don't like to separate from my kids very much. Their anxiety is perhaps overshadowed only by my own. Ezra's first attempt to drive to school in the special Taxi was a disaster. He screamed, kicked, cried, and started shaking uncontrollably, he was so beside himself. It took me 45 minutes to calm him down. Today, about 2 weeks after our first attempt, I had his teachers put him in the Taxi after school, and I drove behind him. We got home fine, but tears were still streaming down his cheeks. He was so mad at me he continued to yell and scream all evening. Still, I'm proud of him for making it home alright. It's not an easy thing for him, the unknown, the break in routine. I'm still not convinced this school or in fact our stay here in the Netherlands is the best thing for him. The school is certainly our best option here, but the fact that it is in Dutch is troublesome. But what else could we have done? A job is a job. Aaron was lucky to get one while also being able to get his PHD at the same time.
In other news, I'm totally mad at the dutch license plate department. We looked before we came what we would have to change on our car, so we could tell if it was worth bringing it. There wasn't much that needed changing according to the website, but now that we're here, we have to special order all these parts from the US, and the whole "change" will cost us between 1500-2500 Euros in cash (which is on top of the money it cost us for the inspection), which we of course don't have lying around, since we used all of our savings to get over here in the first place. And on top of that Philips didn't take out the health insurance from his pay check the last 4 months, so they just took out 4 months worth of premiums from our account. Things are a bit rough this month, financially. I'm only posting this, because problems like these tend to work themselves out, and I want to be able to look back and see how they did, so I won't have to freak out next time.
In other news, I'm totally mad at the dutch license plate department. We looked before we came what we would have to change on our car, so we could tell if it was worth bringing it. There wasn't much that needed changing according to the website, but now that we're here, we have to special order all these parts from the US, and the whole "change" will cost us between 1500-2500 Euros in cash (which is on top of the money it cost us for the inspection), which we of course don't have lying around, since we used all of our savings to get over here in the first place. And on top of that Philips didn't take out the health insurance from his pay check the last 4 months, so they just took out 4 months worth of premiums from our account. Things are a bit rough this month, financially. I'm only posting this, because problems like these tend to work themselves out, and I want to be able to look back and see how they did, so I won't have to freak out next time.
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